5 Tips for Managing Anxiety in Motherhood

I’m a Mama to 4. And recently, I’ve started to share more about some of the extra needs we have in our house. All of our kids have gone to therapy for various reasons, our son isn’t a “neurotypical” kiddo and because of all the variety of needs that seem to pile on more and more as the days go by…I’ve had to learn, unlearn and re-learn strategies around how to manage my anxiety as a mother. In other words - my BIG, overwhelming feelings.

This is one of the most powerful quotes I try to remember as I’m parenting day in and day out…

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”

Talk about a shock to the system and a vivid reminder that how I act and react has everything to do with my family and my kids. Now - I’m constantly working on self-awareness and learning how my big feelings can be interpreted in our household.

When it comes to Motherhood and Anxiety - here’s the cycle I’ve been able to identify in my own life and how it typically perpetuates itself:

  1. Swirling Thoughts Start (Overwhelm, What I Can’t Control, Task Overload)

  2. There’s a Trigger (Loud Noise, Bad News, Messy House)

  3. In an effort to “shut things off” and choose NOT to deal with the situation, I find an outlet and want to numb. I essentially plug-in to unplug.

  4. Plugging-in leads to consumption and that consumption isn’t always productive.

  5. Consumption of the wrong things (comparison mode, perfection,
    feeding insecurities) can lead to added anxiety and non-productive habits.

  6. Non-productive habits (like negative self-talk, emotional eating, feelings of depression, etc). lead back to more swirling thoughts and in turn - more BIG, feelings.

    And the cycle continues…if we don’t learn to STOP it.


So what has this cycle taught me and how am I learning to STOP it from continuing onward - over and over and over again? By becoming more aware of my “window of tolerance”. This is something I’m learning about in therapy and a concept I want to share with you because I think it’s an incredibly powerful way to think about anxiety, overwhelm and the big feelings we feel as mamas.

Here are my TOP 5 TIPS for things to ask yourself and pay attention to when it comes to stopping the cycle:

  • Pay attention to your thoughts and triggers. What things send you into over-drive and out of your “window of tolerance”?

  • When you move into that space - How are you reacting? And what are you utilizing as an outlet? Why do you feel like numbing vs. handing the situation head on?

  • Make the effort to lean in and PAUSE with a breath. Say to yourself, “What can I do to help myself and regulate my feelings right now?”

  • As you build more self-awareness around your thoughts and triggers - think hard on this - “What is the actual size of this problem?” “Is it real?” “What can I control?”

  • As you start to answer these questions, think about how you want to treat yourself when you have big emotions. Think about how our children are watching and the same unconditional love you give to them, we need to be giving to ourselves as we manage the waves of big, deep feelings.

While this isn’t a perfect process by any means - it’s something I’ve started to work on. And it’s something our entire house is working on and it helps, if you do the work and make the choice to lean into the PAUSE before acting and/or reacting.

That’s not easy.

Especially in the heat of the moment when the overwhelm is real and the needs are endless. As I become more self-aware as a mother, I’m becoming MOST aware of the habits and things I want to continue to evolve and change. I have a lot of work to do - but one day at a time, I’m determined to stay committed to my growth and developing bigger, better ways to manage my feelings from the inside out.

One habit and practice that continues to help me is diving into self-help and personal development books. To grab my FREEBIE LIST of book and podcast ideas to help you with building mental strength from the inside out - opt into my email list here and I’ll send you the list so you can get started.

Mama - remember you’re never alone. Parenting teaches us so many valuable lessons - especially things about ourselves. Always in it together!

 
 
Erin Trier